The goal of going to sleep is sleeping, right? Sure, you can cuddle or more before you go decide to try to sleep, but I don’t think you’re losing any romantic connection if you don’t share the same bed the entire night (though Jeff may feel otherwise). Look, we’re adults and the whole sleepover concept is overrated. Like the alarms, there are some possible give-and-take adjustments that can be implemented here to make bedtime more comfortable for both parties.īut the big picture: Any one thing that interrupts a good night’s sleep can make nighttime a nightmare for the light sleeper. Their whole sleeping situation is a mess: room temperature vs. The deep sleepers can also ditch the clock and wear a wrist alarm, which pulses silently to wake a person up, instead.īut this isn’t just about alarm clocks. Those sunrise alarm clocks that slowly lighten and steadily increase in volume are about as gentle as it gets. There may be an alarm clock middle ground. I have no idea how multiple snoozes make for a slow and smooth wake-up for someone like Jeff and your traveling companion, but it isn’t fair for their roommates/bedmates. For instance, hearing the violent screech of a clock alarm that jolts you awake four times every morning sets the tone for a bleary-eyed, brain-fried, super-annoyed morning, if not an entire day, for light sleepers like our letter writer, yourself and me. ![]() Wanda, navigating the demanding modern working world isn’t the only reason adults with jobs are extremely exhausted these days. Like, cuddling! So be prepared to compromise. If you feel strongly about certain things you need - like, less snooze button - you need to ask for them. And given that he’s a cuddler, Jeff probably genuinely enjoys the lazy, sleepy morning moments with you, while you’re inwardly and increasingly annoyed. Working adults are chronically tired, and despite our best intentions for an early start, the prospect of 5 or 9 or 17 extra minutes of sleep so often sounds way better than starting our day, right? You didn’t give details about Jeff’s employment, but if he has a later start to his day, slowly awakening with snooze support might feel like a gentle way to begin the day. The University of Notre Dame published a study in 2022 that found 57% of adults regularly hit the snooze button despite the fact that doctors and scientists generally agree that when you snooze you lose, as it’s generally no good when it comes to supporting quality sleep. Like Jeff, she couldn’t envision a morning routine without multiple rounds of being roused. We were sharing hotel rooms to save money and when I asked if she could please consider setting a single alarm - because, like you, once I’m up, I’m up - she seemed completely surprised by the request, and explained she needed it to wake up. I once traveled with a friend who hit the snooze button four times every morning like, well, clockwork. It’s just these sleepovers are killing me. He said he’s always been a heavy sleeper and snooze helps him “slowly waken.” Ugh.Įverything else about Jeff is good. ![]() I did mention the snooze button thing to Jeff - I basically said I’d prefer to not hear an alarm until I need to get up. Why would you set an alarm and wake yourself up if you don’t actually have to be up and can apparently still lie in bed for multiple rounds of the snooze button?! Also he is a super restless sleeper and also way into cuddling, and I have never ever been comfortable sleeping with another person touching me. Every time he’s slept over, he’s set an alarm and hit snooze multiple times. He doesn’t like “heavy” blankets so he prefers a warmer room. Well, Jeff is pretty much the opposite of all of this. I’ve also always been a very still and quiet sleeper - once I’m down, I’m out for the count, I don’t toss and turn. I like cool temps, lots of blankets, and if I need to get up at a certain time, I set one alarm, because once I’m up, I’m up, and I won’t fall back to sleep. ![]() We are totally incompatible when it comes to sleeping. Except there’s one huge problem and I don’t know what to do about it. I really like him - I see a lot of potential here. I have been dating “Jeff” for a couple months and we recently decided to be exclusive and see where this goes.
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